The 10 Most Retarded Moments of Atobe Keigo's Life
by x0xFallenAngelx0x
Summary: From when Atobe was about 5 til now...
1. 5 Years Old

The 10 most Retarded Moments in Atobe Keigo's Life

_This is my first attempt at a fanfic so if it's really bad, please bear with me and leave me some comments to help me improve._

1)

So on this one day, little 5 year old Keigo had his bladder put to the test. His mother had ordered his maids to take him clothes shopping.

So here they were, on the 6th floor of the shopping mall.

The maids were busy picking out some clothes for Keigo while he just sat around staring at other kids.

"Keigo-boucchama (_I think I spelt this wrong)_, try this on." One of his maids held up a cute teddy bear outfit that absolutely disgusted Keigo.

"Yadda, it's ugly" Keigo said stubbornly.

"Aww, it'll look so cute on you!!" His maids refused to give up.

Well either way, Keigo ended up being forced into that little teddy bear outfit anyway. The maids took endless pictures of little Keigo bear so they could show his mother.

"I need to go to the toilet!" Keigo said, but his maids paid him no attention as they ran about the shop looking for more outfits.

After a few more attempts at getting their attention, little Keigo realised that it was no use, besides, he couldn't hold on any longer so….

Yes, a while later his maids came back to find a little wet puddle under Keigo. The owner of the store visibly twitched, that little brat had just ruined a brand new teddy bear suit.

_Well, this is the end of the first chapter, I hope it was ok…leave me some comments please and maybe a few ideas haha._


	2. 6 Years Old

The 10 most Retarded Moments in Atobe Keigo's Life

Happy little 6 year old Keigo was skipping along, he had decided to go to the park and see what the peasants do in their spare time. Even at 6, Keigo had a massive ego (the size of Australia), but it's nothing compared to the ego he has now (that's the size of Russia).

Keigo was easy to identify among the other kids simply because he was over dressed, in his frilly silk blouse etc. (I'll leave the rest to your imagination) so Keigo decided to have a go on one of the swings, the only problem was, the swings were all occupied. But being the little spoilt brat he was, this wasn't a problem to him…not yet.

"Ore-sama demands to have a go on this swing, get off this instance and be awed at the sight of my prowess"

Of course, the other kids just stared at him with this expression that clearly said they thought he was some sort of idiot.

"Stupid rich brat, think you can just come along and push us of our swings eh?" Some 'peasant' boys around the same age as Keigo said.

"Ore-sama doesn't want to waste his precious eye sight looking at lowly peasants like you guys, now get off the swing so Ore-sama can get on."

Obviously this angered those little 'peasants'. "Oi, rich brat, since you're so high and mighty, I challenge you to a skateboarding competition." A kid with a red hat and faded jeans said.

Atobe hadn't even the faintest idea what a skateboard was. "Ore-sama doesn't have time to play peasant games with peasants like you."

"Ha! You don't know how to skateboard" several jeers were heard and Keigo had a competitive nature so he couldn't back down. "Fine, Ore-sama will compete with you, although Ore-sama hasn't skateboarded before, it won't be a problem, Ore-sama is a quick learner."

So they all trekked up to the top of a slope, a lot of other kids had come along to watch.

Keigo watched as the other boy got onto the board and just slid down the slope, didn't look very hard, all he had to do was keep his balance. So when the boy climbed back up to the top of the slope and handed Keigo his skateboard, he was brimming with confidence.

However, as soon as he climbed on, he found that it was really hard to keep his balance and due to all the wobbling, he was sliding down the slope at an alarming speed.

Although he had a few balance issues, he managed to stay on the board…but then he realised there was a lady walking slowly not so far ahead. The lady heard him coming and turned round, then _splat!_ She had been carrying 2 ice creams, keyword being 'had'. The ice cream was now smeared all over Keigo's 'handsome' face and laughter could be heard at the top of the slope.

Keigo went home that day with ice cream all over his face; he wouldn't talk to any of his servants so they were worried and went to report this to his parents.

His parents decided to cheer him up by buying him a gift, so they summoned Keigo to their room and showed him his gift– a skateboard. Keigo screamed and ran to his room, locking the door and refusing to come out for several hours. And this is why Atobe pales every time he sees a skateboard.

_How was this one? I think I have a few grammar errors but I'll try and improve that as i go along_


	3. 7 Years Old

The 10 most Retarded Moments in Atobe Keigo's Life

Keigo started playing tennis when he was very young, his father had been a good tennis player so it was expected that Keigo was to be just as good. Well Keigo was pretty good for a 7 year old; even the teacher at school had acknowledged that.

At school, the teacher had decided to do the tennis module for this terms physical education.

"Now kids, today we're going to be learning to play tennis. As you all know, Keigo-kun here plays tennis so if you have any problems you can go and ask Keigo-kun, I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

Of course Keigo didn't mind, he would be able to awe people with the sight of his prowess.

"Now, to serve, you hold you racket here…" Keigo didn't pay any attention to the rest of the teacher's 'how to serve' speech until he heard his name being mentioned. "…would Keigo-kun like to demonstrate how to do a proper serve?"

Keigo smirked, and walked to the opposite end of the court. He got ready to serve; he threw the tennis ball up high above his head and _smack!_ It was a good serve; it went right into the service box and into the teacher's head! …Wait, into the teacher's head? Now Keigo isn't as composed as he is nowadays so he visibly paled while the students rushed around to see if the teacher was alright. Well, that definitely was a good serve in terms of power and speed because the teacher was knocked out cold.

_That was a bit short I know…but I guess I kinda intended for it to be a one chapter thing but then changed the format. _


	4. 8 Years Old

The 10 most Retarded Moments in Atobe Keigo's Life

In English class, they were learning about poetry. Their big assignment of the week was to write a poem. Not that hard, or so our dear little Keigo thought. So he sat down at his desk, intending to get this out of the way as soon as he could, then he can go out and play tennis without worrying about homework for the rest of the week. He sat there for several hours, for some reason, he just couldn't think of anything to write. …He really wanted to go try out that new serve his coach taught him…

On Friday morning, all the children handed in their poems and that night, the teacher was marking the poems that her students wrote, they were all very good, seems like all her students were very gifted linguists…until she got to this one poem that caused her to twitch…and twitch again…and again…and…u get the idea.

_One fine day in the middle of the night, _

_Two dead men got up to fight. _

_Back to back they faced each other, _

_They drew their swords and they shot each other. _

_By Atobe Keigo _

It was rather…unique and she wondered whether Keigo-kun truly understood the English language.

Either way, Keigo failed that English assignment. Not that he cared, he managed to perfect that serve.

_Haha…well…I made this up in bed last night…_


	5. 9 Years Old

The 10 most Retarded Moments in Atobe Keigo's Life

By the age of 9, Keigo's ego had grown to the size of Canada. Well on this fateful day, _something _that damaged his ego (for about 2 seconds) happened.

So there was this girl he really liked (yes, even Keigo can have a crush), she was playing on the swings in a nearby park. Keigo had decided to go take a walk (ahem _strut_) in the park and just _happened _to come across this girl. Let's call her Kimiko-chan.

Seeing Kimiko-chan on the swing, Keigo purposely stopped by the grass area near the swings and started playing fetch with Beat, at the same time showing off to Kimiko-chan his 'running skills'.

So as Keigo was running along at top speed (trying to impress Kimiko-chan) he stood in something and slipped. He stood up and heard Kimiko-chan's laughter.

He looked down to find that his brand new designer shirt had been ruined because he had just slipped in **dog poo** in front of **Kimiko-chan**. Keigo decided that this had got to be the worst day in his life…until he realised something. Turning to Kimiko-chan, he said "Ore-sama no bigi ni yoina, no one can fall as gracefully as Ore-sama does."

_This chapter exists thanks to _**summer-loven-2. **_I was seriously running outta ideas but now I've got lotsa ideas for other ones too. By the way, Beat is the name of Atobe's dog._


	6. 10 Years Old

The 10 most Retarded Moments in Atobe Keigo's Life

This year, the school was going to put on a school play - Cinderella. They were holding auditions after school in the auditorium, of course Keigo went along, he wouldn't miss an opportunity to awe people with his prowess.

As expected, Keigo got the lead part, he was very pleased with himself and went home to memorise his lines. He had a very good memory and managed to learn them all in the course of one night.

He went to rehearsals the next day without his script and recited his lines perfectly, even the teacher was amazed.

On the night of the performance, Keigo was feeling just a **little** bit nervous. What if he tripped on stage? He seemed to remember tripping over a lot of things during his 10 years of existence on this planet. What if he forgot his lines?

The first half of the play went really well, Keigo didn't mess up at all, Keigo was feeling really proud of himself.

But then they got to his big scene, he walked on stage and suddenly realised he didn't know what he was meant to be saying or doing.

He had to cover up quickly, so he said the first thing that came to his mind: "Ore-sama no bigi ni yoina!"

This was followed by rounds of laughter and Keigo was getting desperate. He couldn't remember anything; all those lines just flew out of his head.

Suddenly, the tree behind him started talking, apparently, it was the boy who also wanted the lead but didn't get it. He had ended up being a tree but memorised Keigo's lines anyway.

For the rest of the play, Keigo stood there on the stage like a rock while the tree behind him recited all his lines for him.

At the end of the play, the audience applauded the tree especially loudly and this depressed Keigo. It was meant to be **his** moment to shine, not the **_tree's_**.

This was the first and last time Keigo **ever** auditioned for a school play.

_Hehe Keigo as the Prince, so cute. _


	7. 11 Years Old

The 10 most Retarded Moments in Atobe Keigo's Life

It was finally Graduation Day. Atobe knew he was going to get the 'Top Student Award' – after all, he is the all powerful and mighty Ore-sama. So he made sure he was dressed appropriately (in other words, over-the-top-designer suit and shoes etc.)

"There have been a lot of fine achievements this year…" So he didn't really pay much attention during assembly while the smaller, more insignificant awards were given out. However, when they announced the 'Top Student Award', he had already gotten ready to stride up there.

"…This year, our top student is Atobe Keigo." As soon as his name was called, he strode confidently up to the stage (cough more like _strutted_) and received his prize. He then stood up in front of the mic to give his 'Thank You Speech' but since when were 11 year olds expected to give 'Thank You speeches'?

"Ah….Keigo-kun, you don't have a give a speech, you can return to your seat now." The principal's comment was followed by a round of snickers. Well, what could Keigo do? Nothing much so obviously he just walked off the stage, but because he was so disappointed about the fact that he wasn't allowed to stand up there and awe all those fellow classmates and their parents with his beautiful voice, he wasn't really paying attention to where he was going and walked right into another teacher who was also climbing up the stairs and sent the two of them tumbling down to the bottom. Needless to say, that was definitely Keigo's worst Graduation Day ever.

_Aww poor Atobe, I didn't really mean to like mock him haha, he's one of my favourite characters but he's just got such a….unique character haha. _


	8. 12 Years Old

The 10 most Retarded Moments in Atobe Keigo's Life

During Atobe's first year at Hyoutei, he had gained quite a lot of popularity. He was the King of First Years. The school fair was coming up and Atobe, being the rich guy he is, has decided to _generously _donate a large sum of money to the school to make Hyoutei's school fair the BEST in the Tokyo region. After all, you can't expect any less of Atobe Keigo (or the school that he goes to…). So the principal decided to personally thank Atobe, he had requested to see Atobe during lunchtime. However, when Atobe got to his office, no one was in there. The principal's secretary just told him that the principal had just gone to get some lunch and told Atobe to wait in the office. So Atobe just sat in the office examining all the different portraits and trophies on display in the office. After about 10 minutes, he got bored of waiting and started to pace around the office singing one of his childhood favourites: '_How Much is that Doggie in the Window'._

Without realising, his shoulder had flicked on the intercom and "_How much is that doggie in the window? Woof woof! The one with the waggly tail…"_ started booming through the school.

"Ne! Ne! Isn't that _Atobe's_ voice?" asked a hyperactive Jirou.

"Doubt it, Atobe can't sing." Shishido stated bluntly.

"Demo, it _does_ sound like Atobe…and you don't know whether he can sing or not 'cause you've never heard him." countered Oshitari.

"…gekidasa daze…"

Oblivious to all this, Atobe continued his singing and started a little jiggly dance. He failed to hear the door to the office open until….

"Atobe Keigo what in the world **are** you doing?!"

_I don't know if it's correct but I just assumed that Atobe entered Hyoutei at 12. Haha and thanks to my bro who helped me think up a song. _


	9. 13 Years Old

The 10 most Retarded Moments in Atobe Keigo's Life

Atobe is secretly afraid of thunder and lightening. Not that he would let anyone know. If he did, his image would be forever ruined! Destroyed! So he has managed to keep this all quiet.

One stormy night however, he was lying awake in bed truly afraid. Last time there was a storm, he remembered that a tree had fallen through one of the windows near the kitchen. His bed is right beside a window and that seriously freaked him out. So he decided to go sleep in a spare guest room where the bed was not so near the window, but as he passed his parents' room, he heard some funny…sounds. He decided to walk into their room to investigate. But as soon as he opened the door, his parents screamed for him to get out.

Obediently he left, but he couldn't sleep properly all night. So the next morning, he decided to ask questions.

"Okaasan, what were you and otousan doing last night?"

His okaasan looked a little nervous so his otousan quickly butted in before she said anything not suitable for their dear little Keigo to hear. "Well you see…kaasan and tousan love each other very much…so we do things like that to express how much we love each other."

"So if I really love someone…I can do that with them?"

"Only when you're older."

"Why?"

"Because…this is something only older people do…"

Well these answers didn't satisfy Atobe so he decided to do some researching on the internet…so he went to the school library after school (he couldn't do it at home because his parents might catch him). Well he did manage to find the answer to his question…but he also earned 6 months worth of detention because the teacher had caught him looking at inappropriate sites. Even worse, some students happened to be nearby when Atobe was given his punishment and rumours spread through the school like wildfire, so Atobe is now known as 'The Pervert' throughout the whole school and people avoid him like the plague.

_This chapter is also thanks to _**summer-loven-2. **_Next chapter is guna be the end of this fic. _


	10. 14 Years Old

The 10 most Retarded Moments in Atobe Keigo's Life

It was finally Atobe's turn to play; his opponent is that cocky brat Ryoma.

"Maa, it doesn't matter who the opponent is, Ore-sama will win. Na Kabaji?"

"Usu" came the usual reply.

Like always, Hyoutei had a large amount of supporters.

"_Katsu no wa Hyoutei…_" could be heard ringing out from the stands. Atobe smiled and flicked back his hair earning thousands of screams from fangirls (and a few fanboys)

"_Atobe, Atobe, Atobe, Atobe…" _

Atobe walked onto the courts confidently while smirking at the brat across from the net. Then _thump_. The whole stand was silent; everyone was staring as a very flustered Atobe stood back up.

"Kabaji! Tie up Ore-sama's shoe laces"

"…Usu"

_Le__t's just assume he was still 14 in this story. Well this is the end of this fic…hope you like__d__ it. _


End file.
